Have you ever stopped to contemplate the insignificance of those three words, “I Am Sorry” with respect to preconceived, adverse actions committed against you? They are probably the most over used words in the English language next to “I love you” and most likely just as meaningless. Consider this, “I love you”, is expressed based on a chemical reaction that catalyzes in our brains most likely rooted in the Nature/Nurture aspect of our development growth experiences from birth.
We learn what is attractive to us from the influences impressed upon us by either our environment or genetic code. This in-turn results in a chemical reaction that we find gratifying to relay to the object of our desire to cement a bonding process. As this chemical reaction wanes, so does the emotion initially experienced. In the juxtaposition of “I am sorry” another reaction takes place, this time anchored in some misguided notion; that is often selfish and rarely genuine. We pray that the aforementioned pithy composite of carefully crafted words can somehow magically remove the guilt or fear of some intentional negative action we have taken but now wish to minimize because it may present a hindrance to acquiring further selfish goals or objectives we have in future. Simply stated, “I must seek forgiveness for this terrible, rotten thing that I have done because it may interfere with what I would like to obtain at some later time.”
Unlike the chemical reaction sparking our so-called perception of love, that which results in the cleverly strung together words “I am sorry” is based on a learned response from our growth and development phase. We are taught that everything is made better or pacified by expressing contrition or regret through those simple three words which are usually ignited by another selfish desire rooted in more chemical reactions. So, the next time you hear those words expressed to you after some deliberate, untoward action taken against you, ask yourself this – “What is it that you want from me now?” Think about it!
Adiuva me verterem figuram mundi